And Then I Died
As promised, I will now tell you about the second dream I had in which God spoke to me. To read the first, please go here.
I had this dream during a very tumultuous time in my life. I was very ill (even moreso than now), and close to death. I was terrified of dying, and yet also wanted it to escape the terrible pain I was in. It was then that I had this dream. I’ve heard that people say that if you die in a dream, you will die in real life. This is utter rubbish. True, one usually wakes up the moment before death, but I can attest that one can die in a dream and awaken perfectly alive. For in this dream, I died.
I was in a spaceship, and the earth was gone. I was the sole survivor of a terrible catastrophe that had destroyed the entire world. There was nothing left. Nothing but myself and this spaceship that drifted aimlessly in the vast emptiness of the universe. There was no colour left, everything was white and black and grey. The spaceship was covered in a grey dust that had once been thriving, green plants. The only thing left of Earth was a book. It had a red cover- the only colour left. I held the book in my hands, and was filled with grief and despair. That book reminded me of what had been, and could be no longer. It reminded me of a world full of people, plants, animals, colour, laughter, and music. That world would never come back. Rather than read it and remember things that were no longer, I tore it to shreds. I went to the ship’s hatch and wrenched it open. Without a helmet or a suit, I floated out into space. It was cold. So bitterly cold. but I welcomed this feeling. For I knew that it meant death, and death was far better than this bitter reality. For a few moments I floated free, and then my consciousness faded, and all went blank. I was in this state for several moments before I awoke. And how wonderful it was! I awoke from a bleak dream to a world of colour, light, laughter, people- so many other people!- animals, plants, music, art and all the joyous things that make up this earth. Even though I was in terrible pain, and close to dying, it no longer seemed to matter, because the world and its happiness was all around me. And then God spoke to me. Not in words, of course, but even so I knew exactly what He was saying. He said, ‘That is what death is like, you know. It is like waking up from a bleak nightmare into a vibrant world full of life. Death should not be sought after, but neither should it be feared.’
Sometimes I still fear death, being in such poor health as I am. I am no longer nearly as close to it as I was when I had the dream. But whenever I am afraid to die, I think of this dream. And I know I have God’s assurance that death will be like waking from a nightmare to a world more wonderful than I can imagine. I still don’t want to die- that is only right. You have only one chance at life, and death is for eternity. So even though things are hard, I keep living, and I try to enjoy it. It’s not always easy, for I am a cynic and a pessimist by nature, and have problems with clinical depression. But I think back to that dream, and how happy I was when I awoke. And suddenly, life doesn’t seem so bad.